All of the clients that I am working for at the moment are private equity firms. What that means is that they have large amounts of money and are looking for attractive investment opportunities. Private equity firms often get a lot of their money from superannuation or 401K funds.

In 2005 and 2006, before the sub-prime mortgage crisis hit, private equity was the most glamorous kind of legal work to be involved with. It helps to remember that whenever anyone talks about glamorous business, what they really mean is there is shit loads of money to be made, excuse my French.

To make the incredibly high returns on their money, private equity firms borrow large amounts of relatively cheap money from banks. They target under performing businesses that have strong and steady cash flows that can be used to pay back the banks. They buy with a view to hold for 3 to 5 years, and then sell the business to recover their money and, hopefully, their profits.

The key to this business model is the availability of large amounts of cheap money from banks. The problem now is that the money has dried up. Two years ago a private equity firm could borrow 80% of the purchase price for a business from a bank. They are now lucky if they can borrow 50% of the purchase price. So, there are less deals being done and consequently, less legal work.

There is still legal work to be done for private equity firms that are looking to sell businesses that they acquired 3 to 5 years ago. Two years ago my group worked mainly for buyers of businesses, we now act primarily for people who are looking to sell.

I had to go to the offices of one of our private equity clients this week to collect some signed documents. It was an interesting experience, I had never been to the offices of a private equity firm before. I entered our clients building and walked to the ground floor reception to check which floor I needed to go to. I scanned the board that lists the firms in the building and the corresponding floor numbers. Our client wasn't there.

I told the man behind the desk that I was looking for Firm X. He smiled, "level 45, use the second set of elevators". I alighted from the lift and was confronted with the door to my clients' offices. A locked glass automatic sliding door with security intercom. It seems they don't want visitors.

Ludicrous, on the other side of the glass door was a massive corporate logo affixed to polished mahogany wall. As if they are keen to remind themselves of each morning when they enter the office that they are indeed masters of the universe.

The receptionist buzzed me in and as I entered I instictively looked around for a reception desk. There was none. I found myself in a small closed room with a door at either end. Two modern reclining designer leather chairs sat in the middle of the room. No table, no magazines, no newspapers. I couldn't decide whether I should sit down, or whether the chairs were merely for decoration purposes.

My pondering was cut short when a door at one end of the room opened. I polite and very business like woman appeared, she handed me an envelope and then promptly disappeared from the mysterious place from which she had come.

Private equity firms, mysterious clients indeed.