I got to go on an awesome travel junket on Wednesday. I didn't think that a junior associate in a corporate law firm would get to do any travel, it seems I was wrong.
Even though we had a massive deal closing on Friday, work has been a little slow lately. As such, I was updated my Facebook profile at work when I received an email from my supervising partner.
The partners email was brief, witty and pertinent. Well, maybe not witty, it read: "I may need you to go to fly interstate tomorrow to collect some documents. Check with me this afternoon."
Shortly after lunch the partner decided that I needed to fly that night, stay over night and fly back to work in the morning. I am glad that I have no life to speak of. If I had made plans for Wednesday night, I would have had to cancel them.
It is all very strange, flying me interstate seems to be the most inefficient way of transporting documents. The whole process would have been amazingly expensive for the client, with the cost of flying me interstate, putting me up in the Crown Hotel, paying for my meals and taxis, not to mention the cost of my time (I was billing the client for the whole trip). I imagine that a premium insured express courier service would have cost about half the price.
I thought it was best not to raise this point with the partner, and the Crown Hotel was just as lovely as I had hoped.
Everyone I have spoken to subsequently agrees that a courier would have been much cheaper and far more reliable. In my opinion, trusting me with a briefcase of documents that are worth millions of dollars is perhaps the most stupid thing my law firm has ever done. It seems that the whole trip may have just been a junket, a kind of stunt to buy my loyalty to the firm.
I don't respond to stunts, if that's what it was. That said, I am very committed to working hard and doing my best to promote my wonderful firm.
The omelettes and French toast at the buffet breakfast were outstanding.
Saturday, June 14, 2008
Friday, May 23, 2008
Very exciting, I graduated from law school on Friday! All of the combined law students graduated from the university Great Hall, a large sandstone room with high ceilings, oil paintings and stained glass windows. A perfect place for us all to congratulate ourselves on being masters of the universe. It seems that the best way to feel important is to dress up in mysterious gowns with matching black mortar board hats.
The graduation speech was given by a prominent 50-something female judge. She gave a run down of her experiences in the legal profession and the sexism she faced along the way, with male partners condescendingly referring to her as "dear". She gave a candid overview of the risks and challenges facing members of the legal profession, which is one of the four traditional professions: law, medicine, divinity and the military. She outlined the conflict that we will face as lawyers, between billable hours and the other things in life like family, friends, other interests, and moral values.
After the ceremony I had brunch at a funky little restaurant cafe with my mum, grandmas, and brothers and sisters. At about 2pm, after a long brunch, the drinking festivities began in earnest. I started drinking with one of my best friends at the Belgian Beer Cafe, a dangerous way to begin, each Belgian beer was around 8.7% alcohol/volume. From there we went to the main graduate party and the drinking continued until early into the morning. And who ever said that lawyers are alcoholics?
During the party I got to talking with another graduate who has taken a job at one of the top big city law firms. This particular law firm was involved in a paper shredding scandal several years ago, and I went to great lengths to bring "paper shredding" into the conversation at every opportunity. Interestingly, the girl informed me that there is a big box of documents on the top shelf of the cupboards in her office labelled "shredding". It seems that old habits die hard.
The graduation speech was given by a prominent 50-something female judge. She gave a run down of her experiences in the legal profession and the sexism she faced along the way, with male partners condescendingly referring to her as "dear". She gave a candid overview of the risks and challenges facing members of the legal profession, which is one of the four traditional professions: law, medicine, divinity and the military. She outlined the conflict that we will face as lawyers, between billable hours and the other things in life like family, friends, other interests, and moral values.
After the ceremony I had brunch at a funky little restaurant cafe with my mum, grandmas, and brothers and sisters. At about 2pm, after a long brunch, the drinking festivities began in earnest. I started drinking with one of my best friends at the Belgian Beer Cafe, a dangerous way to begin, each Belgian beer was around 8.7% alcohol/volume. From there we went to the main graduate party and the drinking continued until early into the morning. And who ever said that lawyers are alcoholics?
During the party I got to talking with another graduate who has taken a job at one of the top big city law firms. This particular law firm was involved in a paper shredding scandal several years ago, and I went to great lengths to bring "paper shredding" into the conversation at every opportunity. Interestingly, the girl informed me that there is a big box of documents on the top shelf of the cupboards in her office labelled "shredding". It seems that old habits die hard.
Saturday, May 17, 2008
All of the clients that I am working for at the moment are private equity firms. What that means is that they have large amounts of money and are looking for attractive investment opportunities. Private equity firms often get a lot of their money from superannuation or 401K funds.
In 2005 and 2006, before the sub-prime mortgage crisis hit, private equity was the most glamorous kind of legal work to be involved with. It helps to remember that whenever anyone talks about glamorous business, what they really mean is there is shit loads of money to be made, excuse my French.
To make the incredibly high returns on their money, private equity firms borrow large amounts of relatively cheap money from banks. They target under performing businesses that have strong and steady cash flows that can be used to pay back the banks. They buy with a view to hold for 3 to 5 years, and then sell the business to recover their money and, hopefully, their profits.
The key to this business model is the availability of large amounts of cheap money from banks. The problem now is that the money has dried up. Two years ago a private equity firm could borrow 80% of the purchase price for a business from a bank. They are now lucky if they can borrow 50% of the purchase price. So, there are less deals being done and consequently, less legal work.
There is still legal work to be done for private equity firms that are looking to sell businesses that they acquired 3 to 5 years ago. Two years ago my group worked mainly for buyers of businesses, we now act primarily for people who are looking to sell.
I had to go to the offices of one of our private equity clients this week to collect some signed documents. It was an interesting experience, I had never been to the offices of a private equity firm before. I entered our clients building and walked to the ground floor reception to check which floor I needed to go to. I scanned the board that lists the firms in the building and the corresponding floor numbers. Our client wasn't there.
I told the man behind the desk that I was looking for Firm X. He smiled, "level 45, use the second set of elevators". I alighted from the lift and was confronted with the door to my clients' offices. A locked glass automatic sliding door with security intercom. It seems they don't want visitors.
Ludicrous, on the other side of the glass door was a massive corporate logo affixed to polished mahogany wall. As if they are keen to remind themselves of each morning when they enter the office that they are indeed masters of the universe.
The receptionist buzzed me in and as I entered I instictively looked around for a reception desk. There was none. I found myself in a small closed room with a door at either end. Two modern reclining designer leather chairs sat in the middle of the room. No table, no magazines, no newspapers. I couldn't decide whether I should sit down, or whether the chairs were merely for decoration purposes.
My pondering was cut short when a door at one end of the room opened. I polite and very business like woman appeared, she handed me an envelope and then promptly disappeared from the mysterious place from which she had come.
Private equity firms, mysterious clients indeed.
In 2005 and 2006, before the sub-prime mortgage crisis hit, private equity was the most glamorous kind of legal work to be involved with. It helps to remember that whenever anyone talks about glamorous business, what they really mean is there is shit loads of money to be made, excuse my French.
To make the incredibly high returns on their money, private equity firms borrow large amounts of relatively cheap money from banks. They target under performing businesses that have strong and steady cash flows that can be used to pay back the banks. They buy with a view to hold for 3 to 5 years, and then sell the business to recover their money and, hopefully, their profits.
The key to this business model is the availability of large amounts of cheap money from banks. The problem now is that the money has dried up. Two years ago a private equity firm could borrow 80% of the purchase price for a business from a bank. They are now lucky if they can borrow 50% of the purchase price. So, there are less deals being done and consequently, less legal work.
There is still legal work to be done for private equity firms that are looking to sell businesses that they acquired 3 to 5 years ago. Two years ago my group worked mainly for buyers of businesses, we now act primarily for people who are looking to sell.
I had to go to the offices of one of our private equity clients this week to collect some signed documents. It was an interesting experience, I had never been to the offices of a private equity firm before. I entered our clients building and walked to the ground floor reception to check which floor I needed to go to. I scanned the board that lists the firms in the building and the corresponding floor numbers. Our client wasn't there.
I told the man behind the desk that I was looking for Firm X. He smiled, "level 45, use the second set of elevators". I alighted from the lift and was confronted with the door to my clients' offices. A locked glass automatic sliding door with security intercom. It seems they don't want visitors.
Ludicrous, on the other side of the glass door was a massive corporate logo affixed to polished mahogany wall. As if they are keen to remind themselves of each morning when they enter the office that they are indeed masters of the universe.
The receptionist buzzed me in and as I entered I instictively looked around for a reception desk. There was none. I found myself in a small closed room with a door at either end. Two modern reclining designer leather chairs sat in the middle of the room. No table, no magazines, no newspapers. I couldn't decide whether I should sit down, or whether the chairs were merely for decoration purposes.
My pondering was cut short when a door at one end of the room opened. I polite and very business like woman appeared, she handed me an envelope and then promptly disappeared from the mysterious place from which she had come.
Private equity firms, mysterious clients indeed.
Wednesday, May 7, 2008
Monday morning I got into the office early. I’m not a morning person, but I’ve discovered that it’s best to come in early.
By heading in early you can beat peak hour, you save 30 minutes right there. My charge out rate is over $200 per hour, so in a sense I’m saving over a hundred dollars by getting in early.
Well, it’s not like I see any of the money that the firm bills clients. The partners are the ones who are making all of the money.
I hope they appreciate my efforts in waking up early…
All of the junior lawyers get into the office early. This makes it extremely hard to stand out. You have to be exceptional just to be run of the mill.
Waking up early also avoids the panicked feeling that starts to build when peak hour buses start arriving at the bus stop already full. I can’t afford to be late. I can’t afford to make a bad impression.
Nine times out of ten the partners don’t call on you first thing in the morning. Of course, that means that ten percent chance that they will.
Standing at the bus stop, running late, clock ticking by. I just know that today will be the day that the partner needs me to do an urgent piece of work that was supposed to go out to the client yesterday afternoon.
In short, it’s best to get in early.
But I digress…
So, Monday morning I got into the office early. I logged into outlook first thing to check whether I had been sent any urgent instructions from my supervising partner over night.
Luckily, I hadn’t. But I did have one email.
An email had been sent around to all of the lawyers in our firm at 11pm the night before (Sunday night). I read the email, "Human Resources have organised a lunch time professional development session for this Friday entitled ‘Stress Less: an introduction to meditation’. The session is limited to 30 participants."
Perfect, this is exactly what I need. I hurriedly clicked the button to register for the session. Ah, I could just feel the anticipatory positive relaxing vibes washing over me. This is exactly what I need.
A moment after clicking the button, a pop-up box comes up on my screen. "We regret to inform you that the PD session that you have tried to register for is full. Please send us an email if you would like to be placed on a reserve list."
Stunned surprise! I can feel my anxiety levels starting to rise.
By heading in early you can beat peak hour, you save 30 minutes right there. My charge out rate is over $200 per hour, so in a sense I’m saving over a hundred dollars by getting in early.
Well, it’s not like I see any of the money that the firm bills clients. The partners are the ones who are making all of the money.
I hope they appreciate my efforts in waking up early…
All of the junior lawyers get into the office early. This makes it extremely hard to stand out. You have to be exceptional just to be run of the mill.
Waking up early also avoids the panicked feeling that starts to build when peak hour buses start arriving at the bus stop already full. I can’t afford to be late. I can’t afford to make a bad impression.
Nine times out of ten the partners don’t call on you first thing in the morning. Of course, that means that ten percent chance that they will.
Standing at the bus stop, running late, clock ticking by. I just know that today will be the day that the partner needs me to do an urgent piece of work that was supposed to go out to the client yesterday afternoon.
In short, it’s best to get in early.
But I digress…
So, Monday morning I got into the office early. I logged into outlook first thing to check whether I had been sent any urgent instructions from my supervising partner over night.
Luckily, I hadn’t. But I did have one email.
An email had been sent around to all of the lawyers in our firm at 11pm the night before (Sunday night). I read the email, "Human Resources have organised a lunch time professional development session for this Friday entitled ‘Stress Less: an introduction to meditation’. The session is limited to 30 participants."
Perfect, this is exactly what I need. I hurriedly clicked the button to register for the session. Ah, I could just feel the anticipatory positive relaxing vibes washing over me. This is exactly what I need.
A moment after clicking the button, a pop-up box comes up on my screen. "We regret to inform you that the PD session that you have tried to register for is full. Please send us an email if you would like to be placed on a reserve list."
Stunned surprise! I can feel my anxiety levels starting to rise.
Friday, April 25, 2008
Phew, what a tough week! Two days of training on Tuesday and Wednesday, followed by a public holiday on Friday. Thursday was also a write-off. It seems that when you're not in the office for two days running, the partners forget that you exist. It's nice to have become a valued member of the team.
Whatever happened to equal opportunity? For the two day training session, which was only for junior associates (or JAs as they call them), the firm flew all the JAs from our partner office into town and put them up in the 5 star hotel across the road from our building.
Admittedly, it would be a little difficult to justify putting the local JAs up in the hotel as well. To solve this inequitable situation, I think the training should have taken place in some obscure location that was equally inconvenient for both offices. At least then everyone could have enjoyed a short mid-week junket.
The term 'all day training' is JA code for 'all meals provided'. They have to rope us in somehow. And the great thing about meals at a corporate law firm is that corporate lawyers are the pickiest people in the world.
Anything less than the very best results in a string of whingeing and complaints. Consequently, we enjoy silver service.
Breakfast consisted of bacon & egg rolls, muffins, fruit, muesli, OJ, tea and coffee. For lunch we were served green curry chicken, fresh rolls, salad, tea, coffee and soft drinks. Oh, and I forgot about the gourmet cakes for morning tea, and the fruit platter for afternoon tea.
I really do love learning!
Whatever happened to equal opportunity? For the two day training session, which was only for junior associates (or JAs as they call them), the firm flew all the JAs from our partner office into town and put them up in the 5 star hotel across the road from our building.
Admittedly, it would be a little difficult to justify putting the local JAs up in the hotel as well. To solve this inequitable situation, I think the training should have taken place in some obscure location that was equally inconvenient for both offices. At least then everyone could have enjoyed a short mid-week junket.
The term 'all day training' is JA code for 'all meals provided'. They have to rope us in somehow. And the great thing about meals at a corporate law firm is that corporate lawyers are the pickiest people in the world.
Anything less than the very best results in a string of whingeing and complaints. Consequently, we enjoy silver service.
Breakfast consisted of bacon & egg rolls, muffins, fruit, muesli, OJ, tea and coffee. For lunch we were served green curry chicken, fresh rolls, salad, tea, coffee and soft drinks. Oh, and I forgot about the gourmet cakes for morning tea, and the fruit platter for afternoon tea.
I really do love learning!
Monday, April 21, 2008
Tedious melancholy of insidious intent. I dived headlong into a pile of documents and have spent the whole morning helping on a due diligence task.
I spent seven years at university, what with a double degree and honours. I have spent hours thinking about difficult hypothetical legal problems that pose little resemblance to the real world. Somehow, I believed this was preparation for the real world.
One of my tasks today was to go through a pile of 30 documents and check which ones have missing or photocopied signatures. They should have taught a class at law school on perseverance in the face of boredom, it would have proved useful…
That said, things are starting to become challenging now. Without notice, my supervising partner asks me a question (gives me an instruction) that needs to be answered (obeyed) within the hour. A question from a partner generally opens Pandora's box, with the initial question leading to a series of other more difficult questions which in turn led to other doubts, suspicions and uncertainties.
The pain of thinking and hard work is something that I had grown unacquainted with at university *sigh* I shouldn’t have had those two glasses of champagne and scotch on the rocks last night.
I spent seven years at university, what with a double degree and honours. I have spent hours thinking about difficult hypothetical legal problems that pose little resemblance to the real world. Somehow, I believed this was preparation for the real world.
One of my tasks today was to go through a pile of 30 documents and check which ones have missing or photocopied signatures. They should have taught a class at law school on perseverance in the face of boredom, it would have proved useful…
That said, things are starting to become challenging now. Without notice, my supervising partner asks me a question (gives me an instruction) that needs to be answered (obeyed) within the hour. A question from a partner generally opens Pandora's box, with the initial question leading to a series of other more difficult questions which in turn led to other doubts, suspicions and uncertainties.
The pain of thinking and hard work is something that I had grown unacquainted with at university *sigh* I shouldn’t have had those two glasses of champagne and scotch on the rocks last night.
I won’t apologise for not writing sooner. Well, ordinarily I would, but I have learnt better. If you do something good, make a point of it; if you make a mistake, explain it away. Or better yet, exclude it from the scope of your due diligence analysis.
The last three weeks seem to have flown by. The first week was very pretty easy going. Three days of training, and then two days of light tasks interspersed with familiarising myself with the stationary cupboard. The novelty of free pens hadn’t yet worn thin.
The great thing about our pod is that we have views out over the harbour and gardens. The downside is that I can hear anyone who coughs on my side of the building. Small price to pay, I guess...
I think the management consultant who invented the ‘open door’ policy never expected people to actually start removing doors from offices. Open communication is one thing, but no peace and quiet is quite another entirely.
So, anyway, two pieces of work hit my desk and by lunch time I have six things due by the next morning. Gulp!
During one of our training sessions, HR went to some lengths to explain to us that “it’s okay to say ‘no’ to work.” With all due respect, I say "Bull Shit to that"!
You heard me!
As a junior lawyer, my clients are the senior associates and partners in my group. You can’t turn clients away unless you have a really good reason. They'll just go to another junior lawyer, and who knows if they'll come back.
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